Make it count!
I'll share a secret with you... I have a parenting technique, call it a survival technique if you like, that I employ when times get tough.
Yes, those times we don't post about on Facebook too often. The times when we left cooking dinner until the kids were grumpy. Those times where we had 3 pots and pans on the go with hungry ninja children trying to get their hands on food from the kitchen cupboards. And without a fail, at least one will be throwing a tantrum, maybe more.
Maybe you're in the shop like I was the other day. Grocery shopping with your little army who at first are eager helpers. They follow your instructions, getting the fruit and veggies, carefully counting them out as you had instructed. Then, aisle by aisle, things turn to custard. First, the two year old insists on getting out of the trolley (HUGE mistake) and no amount of threats keeps him in on this particular day. Then after world war two between the older siblings as to who gets to grab the toilet paper and the two year old melting down because his cheerio sausages from the deli counter weren't 'stuck together'like the other kids (seriously), we finally make it to the checkout. And just when you think you're on the home stretch, your son who can't read yet so you can't blame him, opens the fire alarmed doors while you're fighting (again) with your toddler who wants to push your Eftpos buttons but you're trying to explain you need to do the pin number first(!!!!) and the whole shop comes to a stand still to look at your son who is looking pretty proud of himself as the alarm sounds... (big breath). At this moment, I too employed the survival technique.
What is this survival technique? I call it the reality TV show technique. I like reality TV. If I watch TV (which I don't, aside from House Rules, I love House Rules), I will watch reality TV. Master Chef, Super Nanny, home reno shows... I love it! Perhaps this is why this technique emerged in my parenting style of survival mode on a weekly basis.
You see, I found myself in these 'fun' situations from very early on in my parenting journey. Most of the time the kids are lovely and they listen... ok that's an exaggeration, SOME of the time, the kids are lovely and they listen. But sometimes, sometimes they don't listen. Sometimes the techniques that worked yesterday don't work and you end up with a mess. It was in one of those situations that I asked a question and thus developed my survival technique. "Could I do this for $1 Million if I was on a reality game show?" The answer is absolutely yes! I could do a heck of a lot of things for $1 Million! No matter how hard the situation was or how badly behaved the kids were being, no matter how tired I was, I would most certainly dig deep and pull off what needed to happen to win $1Million!
That got me thinking about how much we actually have inside of us, capacity-wise, that we don't tap into because we give up and give in far too easily. Whether it is the children who are resembling a three ring circus and not listening to a word you say or the dinner that you have to cook in 15 minutes... could you do it for money as a challenge? Sometimes the things we feel are too hard are totally do-able, it just takes a different mindset.
The real cruncher of this philosophy is, if we would do it and could do it for money, why not for our family? I guess the truth is that family, kids, keeping house and all the other ádulting' exercises we pull off on a daily basis yields very few instant rewards. There are no applause from grateful family as dinner is laid on the table (let's be honest, it's usually the opposite). The crowds do not stop to congratulate you that you made it through the shop without your children throwing a tantrum (or running away as Mr. 5 did for many years, most traumatic when I was 9 months pregnant and couldn't catch him, much to his delight). The house that we manage to ínspire' the kids to clean up will be dirty again within the hour. Motherhood isn't a sprint. Sure there are memories, laughter, moments of pure joy and delight along the way. But for the most part, the pay off comes gradually and is a long term thing and for those day to day situations we find ourselves in, sometimes some extra help is needed and sometimes it's all in our mindset.
I totally give you permission to try this. Next time you find yourself in tricky situation where you feel like crying or laughing (or both as is my common reaction). Take two seconds, pretend you're on that cooking show with 20 minutes and set ingredients to come up with dinner to impress judges! I promise you, as you engage your imagination, you will surprise yourself! When the kids are playing up at bedtime and they're up out of their beds with their gazillionth request for the night, ask yourself what you would do if cameras were there right now and you had $1 Million on the line if you got this right. Chances are, you would get it together, regroup and go again, pretty darn quickly! It is a bit sad how much of a motivating factor money is, but lets be real, it would make life easier for all us to have more of it, right? And I think you'll get the idea of the exercise.
Are you ready? Lights, camera, action! Get into it and see what you REALLY are capable of. Try it in any situation. I know you'll find yourself giggling to yourself as you do it like I did and still do. Being slightly competitive by nature helps too, admittedly. Motherhood and life in most areas, takes a plan, strategies, a back up-plan when those fail and courage and strength to go again and again! (And again)!
And now as if as the perfect illustration, my now eight year old angel is out of her bed AGAIN and calling me (after catching her playing with marbles, trying to paint her porcelain doll in the dark in her room and then playing in the bathroom with water). I will employ this exact tactic. Could I do it for a TV reality show? NO question. Will I do it to be a good parent? No reason I can't because I just admitted I can.
All the best for your moments of testing this week mums!! Make it count :)
Yes, those times we don't post about on Facebook too often. The times when we left cooking dinner until the kids were grumpy. Those times where we had 3 pots and pans on the go with hungry ninja children trying to get their hands on food from the kitchen cupboards. And without a fail, at least one will be throwing a tantrum, maybe more.
Maybe you're in the shop like I was the other day. Grocery shopping with your little army who at first are eager helpers. They follow your instructions, getting the fruit and veggies, carefully counting them out as you had instructed. Then, aisle by aisle, things turn to custard. First, the two year old insists on getting out of the trolley (HUGE mistake) and no amount of threats keeps him in on this particular day. Then after world war two between the older siblings as to who gets to grab the toilet paper and the two year old melting down because his cheerio sausages from the deli counter weren't 'stuck together'like the other kids (seriously), we finally make it to the checkout. And just when you think you're on the home stretch, your son who can't read yet so you can't blame him, opens the fire alarmed doors while you're fighting (again) with your toddler who wants to push your Eftpos buttons but you're trying to explain you need to do the pin number first(!!!!) and the whole shop comes to a stand still to look at your son who is looking pretty proud of himself as the alarm sounds... (big breath). At this moment, I too employed the survival technique.
What is this survival technique? I call it the reality TV show technique. I like reality TV. If I watch TV (which I don't, aside from House Rules, I love House Rules), I will watch reality TV. Master Chef, Super Nanny, home reno shows... I love it! Perhaps this is why this technique emerged in my parenting style of survival mode on a weekly basis.
You see, I found myself in these 'fun' situations from very early on in my parenting journey. Most of the time the kids are lovely and they listen... ok that's an exaggeration, SOME of the time, the kids are lovely and they listen. But sometimes, sometimes they don't listen. Sometimes the techniques that worked yesterday don't work and you end up with a mess. It was in one of those situations that I asked a question and thus developed my survival technique. "Could I do this for $1 Million if I was on a reality game show?" The answer is absolutely yes! I could do a heck of a lot of things for $1 Million! No matter how hard the situation was or how badly behaved the kids were being, no matter how tired I was, I would most certainly dig deep and pull off what needed to happen to win $1Million!That got me thinking about how much we actually have inside of us, capacity-wise, that we don't tap into because we give up and give in far too easily. Whether it is the children who are resembling a three ring circus and not listening to a word you say or the dinner that you have to cook in 15 minutes... could you do it for money as a challenge? Sometimes the things we feel are too hard are totally do-able, it just takes a different mindset.
The real cruncher of this philosophy is, if we would do it and could do it for money, why not for our family? I guess the truth is that family, kids, keeping house and all the other ádulting' exercises we pull off on a daily basis yields very few instant rewards. There are no applause from grateful family as dinner is laid on the table (let's be honest, it's usually the opposite). The crowds do not stop to congratulate you that you made it through the shop without your children throwing a tantrum (or running away as Mr. 5 did for many years, most traumatic when I was 9 months pregnant and couldn't catch him, much to his delight). The house that we manage to ínspire' the kids to clean up will be dirty again within the hour. Motherhood isn't a sprint. Sure there are memories, laughter, moments of pure joy and delight along the way. But for the most part, the pay off comes gradually and is a long term thing and for those day to day situations we find ourselves in, sometimes some extra help is needed and sometimes it's all in our mindset.
I totally give you permission to try this. Next time you find yourself in tricky situation where you feel like crying or laughing (or both as is my common reaction). Take two seconds, pretend you're on that cooking show with 20 minutes and set ingredients to come up with dinner to impress judges! I promise you, as you engage your imagination, you will surprise yourself! When the kids are playing up at bedtime and they're up out of their beds with their gazillionth request for the night, ask yourself what you would do if cameras were there right now and you had $1 Million on the line if you got this right. Chances are, you would get it together, regroup and go again, pretty darn quickly! It is a bit sad how much of a motivating factor money is, but lets be real, it would make life easier for all us to have more of it, right? And I think you'll get the idea of the exercise.
Are you ready? Lights, camera, action! Get into it and see what you REALLY are capable of. Try it in any situation. I know you'll find yourself giggling to yourself as you do it like I did and still do. Being slightly competitive by nature helps too, admittedly. Motherhood and life in most areas, takes a plan, strategies, a back up-plan when those fail and courage and strength to go again and again! (And again)!
And now as if as the perfect illustration, my now eight year old angel is out of her bed AGAIN and calling me (after catching her playing with marbles, trying to paint her porcelain doll in the dark in her room and then playing in the bathroom with water). I will employ this exact tactic. Could I do it for a TV reality show? NO question. Will I do it to be a good parent? No reason I can't because I just admitted I can.
All the best for your moments of testing this week mums!! Make it count :)
Love it!!
ReplyDeleteSuch a brilliant post Bianca! I can totally relate!
ReplyDelete