Family focus
I lay in bed last night (after having caffeine, rooky error) and thought about what we wanted to focus on with the kids this year. Last year we sort of just focused on the fruits of the Spirit (cue song... goodness, faithfulness, joy, love, peace, kindness, PATIENCE, SELF-CONTROL, gentleness...) a tall order for young growing kiddies but something we wanted to keep in front of them always. Finding a family focus is harder than you think because there are so many things you can work on, the list is endless. Well lying in bed a song popped into my head that I had heard before, it's called, "Speak Life' and I totally knew that had to be our family focus. Sad to say but things have definitely 'slipped' in that department over the last little while. I grew up in a very word-conscious home where we never heard anyone being called dumb or stupid and we weren't even allowed to say 'shut-up'to each other. For a myriad of reasons, slowly some of the things that absolutely grate me to hear have crept into my kids vocabulary.
So I sat down with my kids, full of beans as they usually are when I have anything serious I want to talk to them about and I said I had a special mission for our family. I told them I have a song and that I wanted them to listen to it and to see if they can work out what our mission this year is going to be. That seemed to keep their attention for a few minutes as they listened intently, trying to beat each other at yelling out the right answer. Of course Jed's answer to everything is 'Jesus!'. The older kids got it though. 'Speak Life', our 2018 family mission. Our scripture they will be hearing EVERY day is, "The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit." (Proverbs 18.21) or as Jed likes to say, "the power of life and death is in the teeth" - go figure...
I am an absolute firm believer that we shape our world with our words. Words are a powerful, creative force that we often let loose without thinking of the consequences. Words can be apologised for but are never forgotten. Words can build up or tear down, encourage or shame. I want my kids to be thinking, calculating every word that comes out their mouths. I think it's a good one for us all! Even today, one of the kids kept playing up (like seriously, playing up is an understatement... fighting, slamming doors when sent to their room, not listening when I'd speak). One of the other kids piped up and said, "So and so is naughty". I immediately jumped on that statement and explained they are NOT naughty, that specific child had just made some bad choices today. It's a seemingly insignificant (seemingly TRUE) statement but I want the kids to be convicted every time LIFE doesn't come out of their mouths.
What a timely reminder for us parents too, after all, we set the example in this area. Sometimes we fall into the trap of a bad confession; "I'm sick and tired of this happening", confessing we're sick and tired or "we don't have money for that" when we do have money, we ARE blessed, we are rather just choosing NOT to spend our money on that particular thing right now. It is a constant battle to remind myself to be separating my kids identity from the behaviour they are displaying. It's so important as parents that our kids hear from us, prophetically, who they are and that we don't label them with behaviours. I remember 'getting' this after hearing this idea once and it changed the way I parented. Instead of the telling off's that sounded like 'that was a selfish thing to do!' I would flip it around to say, "you're such a kind child! Is that a kind thing that you just did?" (obviously they would say no, and you can point out that it's out of character for them to do that, it's not who they are).
So this is our family challenge, our family mission. To SPEAK LIFE over each other, over our day, over ourselves. It's something we know but need to focus on a little extra hard for a while. What a glorious day it will be when our babies learn to be self-governing, but for now, I'm praying that that mum-voice will ring in their ears enough times that they make some good choices with the words they choose.
I'm going to do a bit of research, a bit of planning and come up with some family teachings through activities that I'll share when I think of them. Obviously the year will get busy, life will kick into it's usual relentless pace but I figure one thing to focus on this year is achievable, for the kids anyway. What is a new year without a fresh challenge or an improvement in your life in some area? It's week two of January people, it's not too late to think of something! On another note, we are pretty much halfway through the first month of 2018!! Scary stuff. Life goes so fast! Enjoy.Every.Moment xx
So I sat down with my kids, full of beans as they usually are when I have anything serious I want to talk to them about and I said I had a special mission for our family. I told them I have a song and that I wanted them to listen to it and to see if they can work out what our mission this year is going to be. That seemed to keep their attention for a few minutes as they listened intently, trying to beat each other at yelling out the right answer. Of course Jed's answer to everything is 'Jesus!'. The older kids got it though. 'Speak Life', our 2018 family mission. Our scripture they will be hearing EVERY day is, "The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit." (Proverbs 18.21) or as Jed likes to say, "the power of life and death is in the teeth" - go figure...
I am an absolute firm believer that we shape our world with our words. Words are a powerful, creative force that we often let loose without thinking of the consequences. Words can be apologised for but are never forgotten. Words can build up or tear down, encourage or shame. I want my kids to be thinking, calculating every word that comes out their mouths. I think it's a good one for us all! Even today, one of the kids kept playing up (like seriously, playing up is an understatement... fighting, slamming doors when sent to their room, not listening when I'd speak). One of the other kids piped up and said, "So and so is naughty". I immediately jumped on that statement and explained they are NOT naughty, that specific child had just made some bad choices today. It's a seemingly insignificant (seemingly TRUE) statement but I want the kids to be convicted every time LIFE doesn't come out of their mouths.
What a timely reminder for us parents too, after all, we set the example in this area. Sometimes we fall into the trap of a bad confession; "I'm sick and tired of this happening", confessing we're sick and tired or "we don't have money for that" when we do have money, we ARE blessed, we are rather just choosing NOT to spend our money on that particular thing right now. It is a constant battle to remind myself to be separating my kids identity from the behaviour they are displaying. It's so important as parents that our kids hear from us, prophetically, who they are and that we don't label them with behaviours. I remember 'getting' this after hearing this idea once and it changed the way I parented. Instead of the telling off's that sounded like 'that was a selfish thing to do!' I would flip it around to say, "you're such a kind child! Is that a kind thing that you just did?" (obviously they would say no, and you can point out that it's out of character for them to do that, it's not who they are).
So this is our family challenge, our family mission. To SPEAK LIFE over each other, over our day, over ourselves. It's something we know but need to focus on a little extra hard for a while. What a glorious day it will be when our babies learn to be self-governing, but for now, I'm praying that that mum-voice will ring in their ears enough times that they make some good choices with the words they choose.I'm going to do a bit of research, a bit of planning and come up with some family teachings through activities that I'll share when I think of them. Obviously the year will get busy, life will kick into it's usual relentless pace but I figure one thing to focus on this year is achievable, for the kids anyway. What is a new year without a fresh challenge or an improvement in your life in some area? It's week two of January people, it's not too late to think of something! On another note, we are pretty much halfway through the first month of 2018!! Scary stuff. Life goes so fast! Enjoy.Every.Moment xx
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