For the Life of us

One of the craziest part of becoming a mum is this phenominon of this evolving identity. It has been a fascinating thing to observe in others as I became aware of it myself. In some cases you see mothers completely devoted to their children, they lose themselves in this combined role of cleaner, chauffeur, nanny...maid (cough cough). The kids are everything. Everything, including the marriage, comes second to the wants and needs of the children. Then on the other end of the spectrum you have mums who are determined to live out their lives with kids having to somehow fit into that picture. I was thinking the other day, about the nature of 'surviving' motherhood (especially the early days) and thriving as a mother. It seemed from observation, that so many parents are living in maintenance mode until their babies are asleep at night or just holding it together enough until that girl's night out. It dawned on me, quite profoundly that when our view of our 'job' as a...

I'll share a secret with you... I have a parenting technique, call it a survival technique if you like, that I employ when times get tough. Yes, those times we don't post about on Facebook too often. The times when we left cooking dinner until the kids were grumpy. Those times where we had 3 pots and pans on the go with hungry ninja children trying to get their hands on food from the kitchen cupboards. And without a fail, at least one will be throwing a tantrum, maybe more. Maybe you're in the shop like I was the other day. Grocery shopping with your little army who at first are eager helpers. They follow your instructions, getting the fruit and veggies, carefully counting them out as you had instructed. Then, aisle by aisle, things turn to custard. First, the two year old insists on getting out of the trolley (HUGE mistake) and no amount of threats keeps him in on this particular day. Then after world war two between the older siblings as to who gets to grab the toilet...

Could it be, that in parenting our kids, we come face to face with an uncensored version of ourselves? I have heard the phrase, ‘what walks in fathers runs in sons’ and it seems more and more a true statement the more I observe parents and their children. There have been countless times where I have sat appalled at behaviour in my kids that almost mirrors my short-fallings or feelings, arguably in a more intense, dramatic display, but part of me, none-the-less. I believe it is in this confrontation of an uglier version of what we try very hard to mask or master within ourselves that we find ourselves battling not our children but ourselves in them. Sure, they are their own little people with different thoughts, desires, likes and dislikes. We cannot however get away from the fact that a large percentage of who they are, the things ingrained in their DNA, their very make-up, is from us. Could it be then, that some of our biggest battles with them, would be us, essentially com...