Updates and deep thoughts
The past few weeks have been a bit full on to say the least. A virus plagued our home, playing tag with the kids which made for those endless days at home that sort of blur into each other. The weather was also particularly wet and dreary last week which added to the cabin fever. I wrote a whole blog post, a really deep one and then lost the whole thing because I wasn't connected to the internet. An hour of writing. Lost.... frustration much? We have some lovely boys from Hong King staying with us too which has added to the business but we have all enjoyed having them. I love that at dinner time our family has a full table and that the kids learn from people from around the world. Right now we have a border, a Chinese homestay uni student and 2 boys from Hong Kong. It's one FULL house! One of my precious moments this week was gardening with the kids. It started off as just planting the small plants we got free with our New World groceries. Then it culminated in a more ambitious trip to the plant store to buy tomatoes, lettuce and corn (just to start off with). I figured if we can keep those alive (because I tend to kill plants somehow), then we will extend our veggie garden. I took the boys on their home day to help me choose the plants and when we got home, we planted them. It was so sweet, the two homestay boys came outside and started helping. They said they had never planted anything before because they live in apartments with no gardens. So I had all 5 of them filling pots with soil and planting our veggie patch. It was really sweet to see. Here's praying we see some veggies grow! I'll have to put up some photo evidence when we get signs of veggie life.
This week it's Jed's 3rd Birthday and I have been shopping and prepping slowly, with the party being on Saturday. I LOVE planning kids parties, it's my happy place! So much fun raiding Pinterest, browsing shops for the weeks (ok, months) leading up to it to find the right decor and party bits and pieces, planning the cake and then hosting all our favourite people to celebrate another year our baby has stayed alive and been a part of our family. I remember that surreal feeling at Abby's first birthday where you breathe a sigh of relief that they actually made it to a year old. When you bring home your first baby and suddenly realise you have no clue what you are doing, despite all the stuff you thought you knew, it really is a celebration when they turn a year old.
Anyway, this week I have been thinking. Well, I'm always thinking! But a few things I heard this week between a radio interview I caught snippets of, the podcast I listened to today and a few other thoughts I came across, have made me think and I've actually had a fresh 'light bulb' moment.
The conversation that started it all off was a radio interview where the person (in a gorgeous French accent) was talking about how society today is much more traumatised by betrayal or problems in relationships because where once 'religion' was what people pursued to find happiness, meaning, fulfillment, identity and a sense of importance and wholeness, nowadays, people (well, many people) have ditched 'religion' and are now seeking all that in a partner. Society tells us there is 'the one' for us and we are embarking on this search for that 'one' who completes us and who ultimately will bring us happiness. Wow, what a tall order! This is obviously not a Biblical thought but it's amazing how much of this creeps in unless we keep everything in perspective. It got me thinking abut the place we give relationships, whether it be with our spouse or even our children and how, unless we keep our relationships in order and in check, we can give people the job description of making us feel fulfilled and happy instead of finding that in God.
I had a throw-back thought to a blog post a fellow mommy-friend shared a while back, that stuck with me. It was entitled, "when our children won't bow to our idols'. I was so convicted and inspired by the truth in that article. It was all about how we often parent from a motive or from a place of wanting 'good' kids, good behaviour displayed to appease our sense of fulfillment as a parent (in short). So often we don't take time to look at the heart and work through things with patience, dealing with the 'why', but we get hurt, disillusioned, embarrassed and get our world rocked when our kids play up, not bowing to our perfect ideals of what they should look like and how they should act. I related on so many levels, being an idealist at heart, being a visionary with the picture of how I believe my family (and my kids) should operate and be. It is so easy to fall into the trap of wanting mans praise, even if we don't outright admit it, when we peel back the layers of our heart, often that is at the route of decisions we make sadly enough. It is a much harder thing to eat humble pie and admit that we don't have all the answers and that we've made mistakes or that our kids have. It's amazing at the heart change that can happen when we identify wrong motives and realise we are supposed to realise how little we really know because that drives us to seek out the One who created our kids and who knows exactly the wisdom and understanding we need to raise them.
The more I walk with God and other Christians, the more I realise how much brokenness and dysfunction there is in families. Whether it's in marriages or parenting or just life in general. And together with a mixture of pride, guilt and shame, people struggle on, trying to maintain the facade of perfection or at least normalcy when behind the scenes it's crumbling to pieces. To face reality is a humbling thing. To realise we actually aren't succeeding in an area and to seek out help is hugely humbling.I was so blessed as I sought out wisdom for my own life, watching Pastors and leaders who seem to have such victory in their lives, say how many years they went to marriage counselling or how they struggled with raising their kids. I heard a line today in a podcast from Focus on the Family, it was a lady sharing about being in ministry while her family were imperfect and falling apart. She said that if God, as a perfect Father, had a broken family, why do we think it's shameful that we have anything different? Just that statement alone brought so much peace to the part of me that worries that I have to have it all together to be able to show people the 'right' way, God's way of doing things. Do you ever find that sometimes we put more pressure on ourselves than God puts on us? The lady who was speaking on the podcast relates us to a cake in the oven. She said it's like God takes us out, sticks the stick in to test us, we come out all 'gloopy' and sticky and He puts us back in the oven and says we're not done yet. Life is MEANT to bring us situations that test us, stretch us, break us - never completely, just enough for us to see what's inside of us and ultimately lead us into a more intimate relationship with our Heavenly Father. Life is that oven. Marriage, parenting, family; it's all the heat of that oven, changing us. And as long as we keep a soft heart and teachable spirit, it will be changing us for the better!
I digress... I guess the crux of what I've felt challenged with this week is, what place am I putting people and relationships in my life? Because it's when I let my kids behaving or my husband being thoughtful, determine whether I'm happy or shaken, fulfilled or thrown, that I have a problem. As parents, as spouses, our foundation HAS to be Christ and every relationship HAS to come first from a secure relationship with Him. It is only then that I approach marriage, not a a needy, 'half a person' but as a whole person, committed to serving someone. It is only then that I can demonstrate love and self control when my kids don't act and behave the way I think they should. It is only when I am found IN Christ that I can take my family and what that looks like, in the great and the messy seasons and not let it rock my world.
We were designed for relationship with God, first and foremost. Any other relationship in any other order is dysfunction. Only God can validate who we are the way we need it because He is the only perfect one and the one who created us. Only God can give you the parenting tips you need for each specific child because it's Him who created them. Only God can teach us how to love unconditionally because He is the only one who can truly forget sin once we've repented (the Bible says He remembers it no more, so our relationship with Him has a reset button void of past mistakes and resentment or disappointment).
So, I guess the question is, where is God in our lives? We only get one shot at this life, I for one want to make sure I do it right. What a better way to do life than the right way, the way God laid out for us. And maybe when we stop holding man (be it the men in our lives or the little people) at ransom for our happiness, fulfillment and identity, maybe we will get offended less and love more? Maybe we will get hurt less and forgive more. Maybe we won't get our pride hurt because we will be living out of a place of humility? Maybe we would stop trying to fix everyone and everything and let God be God?
I love the thought I heard on Sunday at church and I'll end with that.
"When we put God first in our lives we will never come out second".
This week it's Jed's 3rd Birthday and I have been shopping and prepping slowly, with the party being on Saturday. I LOVE planning kids parties, it's my happy place! So much fun raiding Pinterest, browsing shops for the weeks (ok, months) leading up to it to find the right decor and party bits and pieces, planning the cake and then hosting all our favourite people to celebrate another year our baby has stayed alive and been a part of our family. I remember that surreal feeling at Abby's first birthday where you breathe a sigh of relief that they actually made it to a year old. When you bring home your first baby and suddenly realise you have no clue what you are doing, despite all the stuff you thought you knew, it really is a celebration when they turn a year old.
Anyway, this week I have been thinking. Well, I'm always thinking! But a few things I heard this week between a radio interview I caught snippets of, the podcast I listened to today and a few other thoughts I came across, have made me think and I've actually had a fresh 'light bulb' moment.
The conversation that started it all off was a radio interview where the person (in a gorgeous French accent) was talking about how society today is much more traumatised by betrayal or problems in relationships because where once 'religion' was what people pursued to find happiness, meaning, fulfillment, identity and a sense of importance and wholeness, nowadays, people (well, many people) have ditched 'religion' and are now seeking all that in a partner. Society tells us there is 'the one' for us and we are embarking on this search for that 'one' who completes us and who ultimately will bring us happiness. Wow, what a tall order! This is obviously not a Biblical thought but it's amazing how much of this creeps in unless we keep everything in perspective. It got me thinking abut the place we give relationships, whether it be with our spouse or even our children and how, unless we keep our relationships in order and in check, we can give people the job description of making us feel fulfilled and happy instead of finding that in God.
I had a throw-back thought to a blog post a fellow mommy-friend shared a while back, that stuck with me. It was entitled, "when our children won't bow to our idols'. I was so convicted and inspired by the truth in that article. It was all about how we often parent from a motive or from a place of wanting 'good' kids, good behaviour displayed to appease our sense of fulfillment as a parent (in short). So often we don't take time to look at the heart and work through things with patience, dealing with the 'why', but we get hurt, disillusioned, embarrassed and get our world rocked when our kids play up, not bowing to our perfect ideals of what they should look like and how they should act. I related on so many levels, being an idealist at heart, being a visionary with the picture of how I believe my family (and my kids) should operate and be. It is so easy to fall into the trap of wanting mans praise, even if we don't outright admit it, when we peel back the layers of our heart, often that is at the route of decisions we make sadly enough. It is a much harder thing to eat humble pie and admit that we don't have all the answers and that we've made mistakes or that our kids have. It's amazing at the heart change that can happen when we identify wrong motives and realise we are supposed to realise how little we really know because that drives us to seek out the One who created our kids and who knows exactly the wisdom and understanding we need to raise them.
The more I walk with God and other Christians, the more I realise how much brokenness and dysfunction there is in families. Whether it's in marriages or parenting or just life in general. And together with a mixture of pride, guilt and shame, people struggle on, trying to maintain the facade of perfection or at least normalcy when behind the scenes it's crumbling to pieces. To face reality is a humbling thing. To realise we actually aren't succeeding in an area and to seek out help is hugely humbling.I was so blessed as I sought out wisdom for my own life, watching Pastors and leaders who seem to have such victory in their lives, say how many years they went to marriage counselling or how they struggled with raising their kids. I heard a line today in a podcast from Focus on the Family, it was a lady sharing about being in ministry while her family were imperfect and falling apart. She said that if God, as a perfect Father, had a broken family, why do we think it's shameful that we have anything different? Just that statement alone brought so much peace to the part of me that worries that I have to have it all together to be able to show people the 'right' way, God's way of doing things. Do you ever find that sometimes we put more pressure on ourselves than God puts on us? The lady who was speaking on the podcast relates us to a cake in the oven. She said it's like God takes us out, sticks the stick in to test us, we come out all 'gloopy' and sticky and He puts us back in the oven and says we're not done yet. Life is MEANT to bring us situations that test us, stretch us, break us - never completely, just enough for us to see what's inside of us and ultimately lead us into a more intimate relationship with our Heavenly Father. Life is that oven. Marriage, parenting, family; it's all the heat of that oven, changing us. And as long as we keep a soft heart and teachable spirit, it will be changing us for the better!
I digress... I guess the crux of what I've felt challenged with this week is, what place am I putting people and relationships in my life? Because it's when I let my kids behaving or my husband being thoughtful, determine whether I'm happy or shaken, fulfilled or thrown, that I have a problem. As parents, as spouses, our foundation HAS to be Christ and every relationship HAS to come first from a secure relationship with Him. It is only then that I approach marriage, not a a needy, 'half a person' but as a whole person, committed to serving someone. It is only then that I can demonstrate love and self control when my kids don't act and behave the way I think they should. It is only when I am found IN Christ that I can take my family and what that looks like, in the great and the messy seasons and not let it rock my world.
We were designed for relationship with God, first and foremost. Any other relationship in any other order is dysfunction. Only God can validate who we are the way we need it because He is the only perfect one and the one who created us. Only God can give you the parenting tips you need for each specific child because it's Him who created them. Only God can teach us how to love unconditionally because He is the only one who can truly forget sin once we've repented (the Bible says He remembers it no more, so our relationship with Him has a reset button void of past mistakes and resentment or disappointment).
So, I guess the question is, where is God in our lives? We only get one shot at this life, I for one want to make sure I do it right. What a better way to do life than the right way, the way God laid out for us. And maybe when we stop holding man (be it the men in our lives or the little people) at ransom for our happiness, fulfillment and identity, maybe we will get offended less and love more? Maybe we will get hurt less and forgive more. Maybe we won't get our pride hurt because we will be living out of a place of humility? Maybe we would stop trying to fix everyone and everything and let God be God?
I love the thought I heard on Sunday at church and I'll end with that.
"When we put God first in our lives we will never come out second".
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