Working vs. staying at home...

If you had asked me as soon as up to one week ago, whether I would go back to work and stick my baby in daycare, you would have received a resounding 'definitely not!'. It has always been an issue I've felt very strongly about.

In my opinion, unless you are genuinely unable to pay rent with one salary, the desire to live in luxury is a selfish one if it justifies putting your kids in childcare at such a young age. I am not an extreme mother and don't believe there is anything wrong with having a toddler at a daycare for a few hours a week to socialise them and allow yourself some sanity. My heart does break, however, at the scene that unfolds at the daycare next door each day. Car's start pulling in from around 7.30am and some littlies are only collected after 6pm and some even 7pm. Parents that would typically go home tired from work, put there children to bed and then wake up only to haul them back to childcare, leaving only two days during the weekend to even see your babies. Not what I believe good parenting to be. Like I said before, I am not naive and idealistic in believing everyone is privileged enough to be able to stay home with their kids. But when fa miles leave their lovely big, new houses with the boat in the driveway, in their flash new cars, it makes me sad to think they would give up precious time with children who, in the blink of an eye, will be at Kindy, then school and then too old to mould and shape, having had that done by whoever spends the most time with them.

In saying this, I have been faced with a very difficult decision. My values so strongly engraved into the fabric of who I am, and my desire to be at home with Abigail overriding any opportunity that came my way. However, God very clearly challenged my plans to stay at home this year. I initially turned down a job working at church alongside the youth Pastor, not being able to bare the thought of Abigail in daycare, even if on the same premises as me.

After some good prayer and chats to Gavin and my parents, I felt like I knew what God wanted me to do. The scriptures I got are found in Isaiah 54, referring to enlarging my capacity. Only a few verses down is the promise that God will give my children peace and watch over them. It spoke right to my spirit. One of my proviso's was that God sort out a childcare option for Abigail that I was comfortable with. Later that day I had worked out with Racquel, my sister that she will look after Abigail. The hours I have been able to work out are 11am - 5pm Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday. It is a real sacrifice for me, but I know in my heart that God wants me to do this, and I know that God is no man's debtor. So as soon as next week, I will be starting part-time work. The very thing I said I wouldn't do. Yet the very thing God is requiring of me in this season. Somehow, even though I look at Abby and want nothing more than to spend every minute of her fast passing childhood, with her, I know that God has more in store for me. Not that I have to neglect raising Abby, but more than that. And I believe whole heartedly that He will give me the grace to do both, well.